


Operation: Ladynoir

by wearebellarke



Series: Ladynoir Trash [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Humor, Multi, Teen Romance, This is for the LOLs, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 04:52:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5277383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wearebellarke/pseuds/wearebellarke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Where clearly everyone knows who Ladybug and Chat Nor are except for Ladybug and Chat Noir</p>
<p>OR</p>
<p>The one time a fan of the show made a plan with the characters to make Ladybug and Chat Noir reveal themselves to each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phase 1: Set Up

**Author's Note:**

> This is written for PURE FUN ONLY. I wanted to do something out-of-the-box and I think I'm going to enjoy doing this. All characters that we've seen before are here. Hope you enjoy~

You walk steadily towards the designated room you’ve allocated for the evening. Your folio, heavy and thick (ha! your mind went there, didn’t it?) sits underneath your armpit, where all of your planning has been focused on. This is it, you tell yourself, as your feet stop to a halt in front of the white door. There’s no turning back.

Sweat runs down the corner of your temples, and you ask yourself, since when is it so hot? (If you can handle 20+ degrees Celsius, then the heat you are feeling comes from what you’re wearing. If not, this applies to you.)

You fix your Miraculous fan pin on your shirt. You adjust your fake ears and red spandex that you spent eight weeks making.

And then you remember, it’s not the temperature or what you’re wearing, it’s the pressure of seeing their faces.

You open that damn door like a boss, and stroll in the room of equally eager characters ready at your command. Your folio slams with a thud on the desk.

“Before I begin, I would like to thank you each and everyone of you for your participation in  _Operation: Ladynoir_. Without you, the plan will never prevail.” 

“It’s not like we had a choice,” said one very bored and blunt Chloe Bourgeoisa, whom you’ve come to tolerate despite all the shit she has caused. You remind yourself if it weren’t for her, majority of akuma attacks wouldn't have happened, which meant majority of Ladybug and Chat Noir’s interactions wouldn’t have either. You studied this shit, clearly.

“We’ve all come together to finally put the end to our miseries. For most of us, it was a long time coming.”

Alya (you know your precious baby anywhere) raises her hand up. You allow her to speak. “Uhh I know this mission is very important, but could we at least get a name from you?”

You smile, because your precious baby is the cutest when it comes to finding out information. “I will get to that in a moment,” you say. “First, I want to cover up who you are and what your code names will be for the operation. Please note this is how you’ll be addressed on the battle field.”

The folio in front of you, while massive to many, looks as cheap as the newspaper thrown at your door at 6.30 in the morning. Chloe could probably use it as toilet paper, if it weren’t for her high maintenance and perfectionism.

Nonetheless, you open it to the front page where the header states:  _Introduction_. Your eyes set on your precious son drawing in the back.

“Nathanaël, may you come down here and pass these out to everyone?” Your son swallows his nerves down as he complies, and you have the sudden urge to hold him and tell him how precious he is.

It’s the first time you really see who is here as you wait for everyone to receive a copy.

Along with Alya, Chloe, and  Nathanaël, Nino sits among them, a pleasant smile warming his expression. You can tell he’s just as excited as Alya, who he keeps looking over at. You ship them as well, but in your heart you know Alya is gay.  _In fanfiction, my dear_ , you telepathically tell Nino,  _where anything can happen_.

Sabrina, who is totally gay for Chloe, sits next to your headcanon lesbian’s, Juleka and Rose. Mylene and Ivan sit in the same second row, along with Alix, Kim, and Max.

Almost to the left of them, are Marinette’s parents, Sabine and Tom, who you cannot help but smile and wave hi to. They express their greetings, and you eternally sigh. What amazing parents you wish you had.

You purposely skip your eyes over Gabriel Agreste and the Mayor (seriously, Chloe needs to stop dragging her father everywhere with her. Still, you know his position will benefit this plan greatly).

You let your eyes linger on Hawk Moth; the selfish ass that he is, even he knows the relationship with Ladybug and Chat Noir is too powerful to overcome. Inside, past your fangirling shell and towards your bullshit sensors, you know he’s here for the miraculous stones. You also know he will play mind games to fuck you over, but you have a secret weapon he doesn’t know about. Two can play mind games, don’t you worry!

Once the sheets are passed around, you clear your voice, and begin.

“For this mission to be successful, all participants must obey and stick to the plan that I have prepared for this meeting. If you must know, this was constructed on the stop. Don’t worry,” you say, as you see the skepticism on their faces, “this plan is foolproof. I know this because I am a professional at making up bullshit when needed.

“You will all be categorized in four groups: the bugs, the kittens, the foxes, and the butterflies. You will get the fox reference in an alternative universe, I promise.”

“And I,” Hawk Ass says, standing up from his seat, “Captain of the butterflies.”

“Don’t you worry, Hawky, I have a special job for you. You’ll find out in Chapter 2.” You can’t wait for him to know, so you keep moving forward in hopes to finish this proglogue with as much information as you can. “With the sheet that my darling boy has passed around, fill in your group and code name when I announce them.

“We will start with the bugs: Alya, your code name is, Commander Wifi.” Yeah, you know, you know. Wifi, huh? Unique. “Nino, Sir Bubbles. Nathanaël, you are The Son.”

Your son raises his hand. “Is that with a U or an O?”

“Either,” you say.

You can see his face go red. He looks down and avoids looking at you before you make him run out of the room  (which he cannot because  _you know why_ ).

“Chloe, The Distractor.”

She frowns. “If I break a nail, I will sue you.”

_You can’t touch me biiiiitch!_

You smile anyway. “Sure thing. Next up, the kittens.”

“Whoa! Hang on a second!”

You refrain from rolling your eyes. “Yes, Chloe?”

“Why isn’t Sabrina with me?” she asks, and points to the redhead who is writing on Chloe’s paper. Sabrina looks up, confusion written on her face, and you watch her smile when you say:

“Sabrina has an important job herself. Sabrina? Write your name down in the kitten group. You shall be called, Princess.”

You avoid a flying shoe and a fainting Chloe. It warms your heart to see Sabrina ignoring her...for only a second before she helps her alpha up.

“Rose, you are That. Juleka, you are Currently Doing That. Mylene, Negative, Ivan, Positive. Max, The Secret Son. Kim, Sir Fluffy. Alix, Commandor Timer.”

You wipe your brow. You’ve clearly taken into account that these names could possibly backfire, but you are the leader of this operation. You can say whatever the fuck you want.

And  _you know why._

“Now for the Fox group. Sabine, you are Mama Croissant, and Tom, you are Papa Bread.”

Tom’s smile makes his cheeks look like toffee apples. Your love for him grows (and so does your hunger).

“And finally, the butterflies. Mayor, you shall be called The Mayor.”

He nudges Gabriel’s impassive frame. “Meant to be.”

“So it seems.”

You smirk at the fashion designer. “Gabriel, The Fail.”

Nino coughed. “Meant to be.”

Gabriel closed his eyes. “So it seems.”

“And finally,” you draw out, catching a member in the back, “we have the most important one of all. Hawk,” you raise your hand in the most dramatic fashion you can manage, and say with a smile on your face, “The Fail 2.0.”

Hawk glares at you. Black butterflies fly around his mask, almost threatening. You can’t be affected, so it’s totally okay to challenge him back.“You vile creature,” he says in the end.

Oh yes, you certainly have everyone’s attention now. Sure, you could’ve had an interesting title for our villain, but you stand by what you have named him, for failures come in two.

“And now that we have our names and groups, you will find in my presentation, which I will now magically set up, the layout of what’s going down. Plan A is our main priority, but if that fails, we will take up Plan B. And if that fails, we move straight to Plan C. I will tell you this further in the next chapter.”

Alya raises her hand. “And we can’t go straight to Plan C because...?”

“Because it’s not part of the main plan. The operation must be done within three hours, because that’s the time I have left before my parents come home and expect me to be doing something not fictional.”

You see Chloe raise a perfect manicured hand. You hold your breath to avoid screaming at her. God, she’s giving you a migraine. “Yes, Chloe?”

“Why don’t we just tell them what we know? Save us all from wasting time. Some of us have important roles to play. Others, like myself, have a forty-two minute appointment with her hairdresser in less than thirty. You do the maths.”

“You think I would’ve done that by now? Ten points from the bugs!”

The group, including your son, groans and pouts. “Thanks a lot, Distractor,” Nino says and rolls his eyes.

You move to the next pocket of your folio:  _The Setup._  You call your son down. You feel your blood rushing through, feel the sparks and the energy of which you only have when you watch your favourite show. You’re so excited you can burst into butterflies. “Pass these sheets around, my son. We have a lot of work to do.”

Oh yes, Ladybug and Chat Noir won’t even know what hit them.

Of course, your precious snowflake raises her hand. "I like to point out that we still don't know your name, let alone anything about you."

You blink. "Do you really want to know?"

"You know our names," Alya says.

_It's because I've studied you from afar, young one._

"If you must," you tell them, and step around the desk.

You allow them to look at you from head to toe. You feel their CGI eyes pull you apart, detect you as some kind of fan, which you are in a way, but more. So much more.

Rose gasps. "Are you the captain of the ship?"

You laugh like a lunatic, causing even Chloe to look at you crazily. "That spot has been taken," you say. "You'll find out later on."

Your son raises his hand. "Are you a cosplayer?"

"I'm much more."

Adrien's failure of a father raises his hand. "Are you a model? Someone to promote Ladybug and Chat Noir?"

You hiss as if you've been struck on the side. "So cold, so cold."

When no one says anything else, you give in.

"My name that you seek, is a name only those in my world would understand."

You make specific hand gestures as you twirl and leap in attempt at the dance you've made up in your head.

"For one look was all it took for my being to be named as such."

It's angelic, graceful--you feel like you can fly!

"And you shall call me as such--FUCK! HOLY MOTHER OF FLYING LADYBUGS!!!"

Congratulations, you've hit your thigh on the corner of the desk.

Everyone looks at you like you're mentally insane.

Which you are, at least in this fandom you are.

You calm down enough to bow, despite the tears running down your face.

"Call me Trash."


	2. Phase 2: Plan A

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so happy to see the positive response to this silly fic! because let's be real, it is a highly defined SILLY fic (that probably doesn't make sense all the time) xx

Crickets beep to fill in the silence in classroom of CGI characters. Clearly they do not understand the art of expressing their most inner trash, and you find it most uncomfortable than the looks you receive. But you believe they will, once the mission becomes a success. 

You fix yourself up. "We'll start with Plan A: the midnight surprise." You don't wait for anyone to recover as you hook the folio onto a stand and begin your presentation. "From professional sources I have gathered through the Ladynoir tag, our superhero duo have an eight pm patrol that runs until eleven during Sunday's to Thursday's, and nine to twelve on Friday and Saturday. It is not confirmed that they do this every week, because as we all know, they do have their own lives to attend to."

Kim scoffs. "Really? Wow, where did you find that out from?"

You wiggle your finger at him and frown. "You're lucky I like you more than Chloe." You dismiss Chloe's outburst and dramatic speech about how everyone adores her.

"There aren't any Akuma's around those times," you say, "at least, none that have been reported." You raise your eyebrow at the masked man in the back. "Is there a reason for this?"

He shrugs. "A butterfly needs their beauty sleep."

"Right." You open up a slideshow that you have magically built up for everyone else to see what's inside your folio. "These are frequent hot spots for our heroes. Eiffel tower is the major one. For the first plan to be a success, we're heading straight to the romance."

Mumbles rise among the group, but it's the hand that raises in the air that has you sighing out of frustration. "Yes, Chloe?"

"If Plan A is the romance reveal, what makes Plan B and C any special?"

You rub your temples to ease the pain and the pounding. "If Plan A doesn't work out you will see what Plan B and C are. In the meantime, we have to prepare for the upcoming plan. And Chloe, thank you for volunteering to hand out the next batch of sheets."

You ignore her childish tantrums and stomping feet, and Alya's "you deserve it" comment, and tap at the board.

"Tonight, at eight, we begin. But first," you look over at your wonderful and idealist parents, who grin happily back, "we're going to need some croissants. And walkie-talkies."

* * *

You hide next to Hawk Moth besides Marinette's house, and wait until the time hits 7.50pm before you bring the walkie talkie close to your face. "Operation Ladynoir is underway. I repeat, Operation Ladynoir is underway. Mama Croissant and Papa Bread, you're up."

Static comes through instead of a response as you expected, but you wait until Tom comes through. " _Mama Croissant is informing Marinette--uh, I mean, Bug about last minute date night._ "

You smirk. Step 1 completed. "Come in the bugs."

" _Bugs here,_ " Alya whispers. " _We're located at the park across from--Distractor!_ "

A whiny voice erupts from the device. " _What? I need to stretch myself out._ "

" _Stop distracting me!_ "

" _It's not_ my  _fault your face is between my--_ "

" _Uh, um, wouldn't Chat know we're here if_ we keep making sounds?" 

You feel your heart sink at the distress coming from your son. "If you have to, my Son, hide somewhere somewhere safe and away from The Distractor. Take Sir Bubbles with you." Clearly you chose the right code name for the blonde rich girl.

More static. You look at your watch. Five more minutes until...

" _Coming in from the kittens!"_

"Come in, Princess."

You can barely make out what Sabrina is saying from all the unnecessary chaos coming from the bugs. You have no idea how to calm them down, and you look at Hawk Moth, but even the masked villain shrugs. You try to get Sabrina's words, hearing only "light", "green flash", "black shape" and the occasional "over" --

You curse.

He's on the move.

You interrupt those over the walkie talkie in a sharp, demanding tone. "Cat. On. Move. Bug. Close. Behind." You look at Hawk Moth, and you can see the terror in his large eyes. "Infect him, Failure 2.0."

"I-I can't. He's not negative enough."

You feel your face grow hot, and your eyes go large. You clench the walkie talkie. "Failure, what is taking so long?"

As calmly as ever, the asshole of a father says, " _The Mayor is very hard to break._ "

"The  _Mayor! And how can I be when I know today is going to be a success, no?"_ _  
_

"Have you tried using his wife?"

" _I know nothing about his wife. I believe you do not either."_

Unfortunately, you know it to be true. Head canons can be fun, but unless stated otherwise, you don't know for sure. You can already sense how disastrous tonight is going to be.

And then you remember  _the thing._

You call the soul-destroyer back. "Give me The Mayor." When a chirpy voice comes from the other-side, you send him a sorry and work your magic. "You lost your wife because you forgot to cherish her." You don't pause. You barely know what's happening around you. You just speak. "You have failed as a husband and you're afraid to fail as a father."

" _I..."_

"That's why you shower Chloe with everything a spoiled child wants. You throw her anything she desires because the woman you claimed to love  _left you_."

" _She didn't...wah..."_

"You don't want your daughter to leave you, too. You don't want to become a failure 3.0. Too bad. You are."

" _I'M NOT A FAILURE 3.0! NO ONE LEAVES. NO. ONE. EVER. LEAVES. ME."_

You look at Hawk Moth, and he nods.

You wait.

"It's done," he says. "Trapster has been born. He will find Ladybug and kidnap her as his daughter."

"Great th--wait, what?" Your eyes go wide as you stare in shock at the villain beside you. "As his _daughter_?"

Mask failure shrugs. "Call it what you want, I have done my part."

"I asked for you to make sure they'll be together once he turns, not  _separate them!_ That's pushing us forward too quickly." You point a threatening finger at his face, making it clear this was not going to happen. "Change his mind. Change his mind right now or I'll rip your pin out." _  
_

He gasps and clutches the pin at the base of his neck. "You vile creature," he whispered. "I can't anyway."

You two spend a lot longer debating on what he can and cannot do, but in the end, you give in.

You call for the kittens. "Commander Timer, how's your team? Are you ready?"

" _Costumes are complete. Civilians have been cleared out. It's just us and the bugs."_

"How'd you do that?" Hawk Ass asks, but you wave him off.

"Listen up everyone! We're skipping steps 2 to 3 and moving right into step 4: separation."

You hear almost everyone's impute, including Marinette's parents. 

You rub your forehead and sigh into the walkie talkie. "I know, it's not what we planned. Just remember, no matter what happens, their reveal has to be romantic."

" _Just cut out the romance already! I say we gather around them and just blurt it out."_ _  
_

"Twenty points from the bugs for Distractor's impulsive impute that I will not consider until the last minute."

You hear Nino groan. " _Thanks a lot, Distractor."_

"Back to the plan! I will meet you all near the Eiffel tower in ten. Kittens, be prepared to separate Chat from Ladybug at all costs. Bugs, make sure Ladybug is near the park. The Mayor will pay a visit to her shortly."

Let the romance blossom!

* * *

 You roll into a bush, keeping an eye on nearby sounds, before you stand up and tiptoe to the building beside it. You motion for Hawk Ass to do the same, and follow  _everything to the T_ , but he is an ass for a reason. He calmly walks towards you.

"Your little dance was impressive," he said.

"So is your pin," you reply, and take satisfaction of watching him scowl. Your eyes turn back to the building you saw Chat Noir and Ladybug chill from

You hold the walkie talkie close to your mouth. "That and Currently Doing That, in position. The Secret Son, Positive, Negative, activate lights."

A circle of purple lights blooms near the edge of Paris, and you watch as your lesbian ship dance before it. You look up at the building once again and do a silent pat on the shoulder. Their attention has been snatched.

"Sir Fluffy, Commandor Timer, you're up!"

Hawk Ass nudges you. You push him away. 

"Oh!" Kim almost shouts that as he holds hands with Alix, swinging their arms in a dramatic fashion. "It is a wonderful night out here, in Paris, my darling."

"It sure is!" Alix almost screams.

Kim spreads his spare arm around. "Wouldn't it just be  _wonderful_  if we saw Chat Noir at this time of night?"

Alix's eyes widens and she twirls in a way that is so unlike her to do. You remind yourself to appoint Best Act Award to her. "It would make my year to see him. After next weeks operation, I might never get the chance to see the outside world again."

It's too good to be true, you think, but then again, nothing is impossible. Chat jumps down from the building and casually walk up to them with a die heart, cheese eating smirk on his face. You hold yourself together from combustion, but only the slightest.

"I have been summoned," Chat says.

 _Keep him interested,_ you mentally tell the pair before you raise the walkie talkie again. "Bugs," you whisper. "You're up!"

No one from the group replies, and you wonder if they haven't heard you. You try again, and the result is the same.

You make the initiative to check them out. 

"Failure 2.0, stay here and watch them. If anything goes wrong, well, it'll be on your head."

You leave before he can get so much as a word in.

When you find the place the bugs were supposed to be, you contact them again. "Bugs, come in."

" _Bugs, come in."_

You jerk to the sound and find the identical walkie talkie lying on the ground near the park bench. You begin to panic for only a second, and try to remember the last thing you said to them.

"My Son? Sir Bubbles? Are you guys here?"

Red hair sticks out behind a tree. "Trash?"

You breathe a sigh of relief. "My Son," you mutter, "you're safe."

Nino walks out behind him. "We are," he says. "Chloe and Alya aren't."

Your son nods. "They were taken by the Mayor. Ladybug too."

You're unsure whether to yell for how messed up your plan went or leap with joy at the prospect of getting your romance revelation.

Nino takes the walkie talkie you give him. "Next step boys: the rescue. Let's get Chat Noir."

* * *

 

_Dear reader, for the sake of this story, we are skipping to the part where Chat Noir and Ladybug turn the Trapstor back into the Mayor._

* * *

 

You, the Kittens and the Bugs watch as Chat hugs Ladybug to him. You stop yourself from punching the nearest wall.

"I thought I almost couldn't make it," he says. You try not to cry.

Ladybug laughs. "You can't lose me that easily. Besides, I think the separation did good for us. It made us stronger."

 _Kiss_  you yell in your head.  _Just kiss and seal the deal!_

Chat laughs out of nervousness, but is then interrupted  by the sound of his ring beeping.

"Looks like we're calling this a night, my Lady."

Your insides turn jelly. This. Is. NOT. How. You. Planned. It.

 _Stop him,_ you tell Ladybug in your head, almost desperately.  _Say you want to tell him something--_

Ladybug's arm shoots out. "Chat, wait!"

Everyone holds their breath, including you. Oh. Oh no, you've done it now. Congratulations, you just used up  _the thing._

"Chat, there's something I have to tell you."

His ring beeps. Two paws left.

You clench your nails into your palm. Yes, you can deal with this.

Chat Noir's eyes blink rapidly before he stares down at Ladybug's hand. You can imagine his heart beating incredibly fast. "Ladybug?"

She looks confused. "I...I don't know what I'm doing, but I feel like I need to tell you right now, or else I might never get to again."

_Beep._

One paw left.

Chat waits in patience, but you can see the nerves and excitement in his eyes. Realisation snaps in your head. She's going to tell him.  _She's going to tell him!_

"Chat..." her voice drops.

Everyone gasps.

So close. So close.

"I...Chat, I'm--"

Chloe screams, making everyone turn to her as she stamps her foot before her father. "I want to go home, Daddy! I'm so sick of this place, ugh, it's like a dungeon in here, and it  _smells_. Don't you care that I have appointments tomorrow? Don't you care about me at all?"

"O-of course I do, my pumpkin, sweet and beautiful daughter."

Chat's gone, and so is Ladybug.

That. Distracting. Bitch.

You stare at your hands, and wonder if murdering Chloe would violate the terms and conditions of you being here.


End file.
